Discrimination. It’s everywhere. Equal Opportunity. Sex, Race, Sexual Orientation, Age, Socio-Economic Status, Religion, Nationality, Disability, Gender, Career Status…there are so many ways we separate ourselves, but you get the point. Everywhere. Right?
Maybe. Or maybe not. Humor me for a moment.
If you’re looking for someone to discriminate against you, you will search until you definitely find discrimination. You will find someone or some organization to validate that you’re right…that they’re a horrible discriminator and that you’re the victim of discrimination.
Of course, it was there. If I had told my supervisor that I was gay, I would have been thrown out of the service. I would have lost my career. It was blatant discrimination. Ahhhh…the good old days…
The system discriminated, yet the majority of its people did not and, if they did, I wasn’t aware of it. I wasn’t looking for it. Heck, life was tough enough. I was just trying to keep my head above water (pun intended), trying to love and accept myself, and navigate which pronoun to use to keep my job. If I had the belief, “All straight people are against me,” life would have been a lot tougher.
If someone cuts me off in line, is it because I’m gay, or female, or blonde, or white? If I believe it’s about any of those things, then yes, discrimination is absolutely why they cut me off. On the other hand, could the reason they cut me off be because they’re human and are having a bad day, because they’re simply inconsiderate or flakey, or that they simply didn’t see me? What if it’s not intentional?
What if I take a good look in the mirror and realize that, when I’m searching for injustice, it’s probably more about me and my righteousness than it is about them? Yikes! Then what will my story become? “You mean they’re also human with their own human-ish struggles?” Stop…that just can’t be possible…
There’s that man (you know, the “other”) that gives me a sideways glance (“Uhhh, you do know you’re both girls, right?”) when I’m walking down the street holding hands with my girlfriend. I have choices…to smile, to ignore, to give him a sideways glance back, to yell at him and ask him what his problem is, to look away in shame or fear that I’m doing something wrong…and more.
He’ll get that piercing look that I naturally acquired from my Mom when she’s angry (you know that look). He and I will be energetically aligned…both swimming in the ugly pond of discriminating against each other. Him to me for being gay…me to him for being homophobic.
His rejection cannot penetrate my self-acceptance…they are energetically polar opposites. His stuff stays with him and I walk off singing “We Are the Champions” (that was a lie).
For many years I found judgment and rejection in others.
Today I mostly find love and kindness in other people’s eyes. Actually, I find it everywhere. Because I’m looking through my eyes that have (mostly) found self-love, kindness, and acceptance. What I’ve discovered is that it’s all about how I feel about myself that determines what I’m spilling out onto the world.
Are you loving, kind, compassionate and accepting of yourself so that you project those traits onto others? Or are you discriminating against yourself and projecting discrimination onto others? Maybe a little bit of both? My guess is probably the latter…which would also make you human-ish.
It’s okay…AND it’s a great place to start. 👊🌈🙂✌️💜
p.s. Discrimination wanted me to tell you that it’s the only thing that never discriminates…it’s equal opportunity in it’s house.