What Stops You?

We’re going to spend some time today by getting curious.

What gets in your way of going toward your passion?

In other words, what stops you from stepping into being more of your true self?  What typically scares you and makes you want to give up?

Does it seem like you frequently fall just short of getting there?  And lastly, why does it feel like you repeat that same pattern over and over, ultimately sabotaging your progress?

Your passion (beginning sleepy music now) – Determining that alone can be a challenge.  This is another place to get curious.  In a quiet space, ask yourself some questions:

  • What comes naturally to you and makes you feel good?
  • Where do you feel inspired, alive, and content?
  • Is it helping others, playing sports, drawing, writing, being in nature or with animals?
  • What lights you up?

Write your answers down without judgment.  Purge…let them flow.

Then back to my original question, “What gets in your way?”  Drumroll:  Your human ego does.

Your ego craves control and predictability and struggles with change and instability.

It’s trying to protect you and wants you to avoid pain and stay “safe.”  So, it will toss fear your way, in the form of hidden hazards and roadblocks, in an effort to control you and subconsciously sabotage your goals, passions, and desires.

Some of the hazards?


Perfectionism, in a word (with a hyphen) is simply an ass-kicker.  It will derail you from following your dreams more than almost any other factor.  With perfectionism, you say to yourself, “If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it at all.” Or, “If they don’t like my work, I will be crushed.  I will be rejected.”

Perfectionism is a fear of authentically being seen…a true form of self-rejection.

Get curious.  Where and how does your perfectionism display itself?  What are you afraid that people will see if you take your mask of perfectionism off?

Fear of Success.

I know what you’re thinking (aspiring psychic), “I totally want to go for my dream!” Do you really?  Although you seem passionate to move toward your dream, there is a part of you that is very comfortable in your safe and predictable ego-controlled life.  What will happen when you arrive?  Who will you be and what will life look like?  Will it be enough, or will you still be discontent?  What will you sacrifice along the way?  Do you know the perceived positive and the mysterious negative consequences of building that life that you desire?  Are you willing to accept them all?

If you aren’t willing to accept the good and the bad, you will more than likely sabotage your progress somewhere along the way.

Fear of Failure.

This seems like an obvious one.  Well, maybe it is.  You say to yourself, “What if I’m not good enough?” “What if I do everything I’m supposed to, and it still doesn’t work out?” These thoughts can be paralyzing and keep you from jumping into new territory.  You hear that critical inner voice saying, “You won’t succeed.  You’ll just get hurt trying.  Who do you think you are?”  If you don’t try, you’ll validate that voice and it will increase its volume.

Hear this:

Truly successful people try and fail time and again.

If it’s important enough, you will stumble and fail along the way…it’s your ticket into the “I’m stepping into my purpose” club.  Oh yeah, a little side note, not trying is the biggest failure of all.

Fear of being creatively vulnerable.

Shooting for the stars and doing something new takes creativity and vision. Because it comes from a part of us that is not logical, creativity embodies courage and vulnerability.  It’s pure and it’s personal and most humans have felt negative judgment or rejection of their creative expression.

When you’re connected to your creative inner guidance system, you will receive the messages that are asking you to step in. Not doing so creates dis(ease), discomfort, irritability, and just plain unhappiness.  Whenever you are reaching out for something bigger than your current situation, you will be exposed and vulnerable…and it will be worth it.

Fear of relationship disruption.

This is the co-dependent show-stopper.  To get to the place that you dream of, it will require some give and take, and some support and sacrifice from your loved ones.  They might feel insecure and you might find them resisting, which will be uncomfortable and is a common place for derailment.

You have choices:  You can retreat in fear of creating ripples in your relationships (and end up being resentful and blaming it on them).  Or (the better solution) you can talk to them about the importance of what you’re doing and what it means to you. You can also acknowledge and be compassionate about their challenges about your changes.  Keep talking about it.  Honest and open communication with the people in your life will go a long way toward working around this saboteur.

We all have imaginary fear-based hazards that “feel real” and become roadblocks.

Do some soul-searching about how they show up in your life.  Then take one step in the direction of your passion…something small…and then do the same thing tomorrow.  You will be stepping into more of your natural greatness and, by doing so, you will be creating a positive ripple effect in our world.  Here’s to hurdling hazards and busting down roadblocks!

Published by Karen Solt

I am an Emotional Wellness Coach, YouTuber, Blogger, and activist for peace, unity, freedom, equality and connection. I hold a Masters in Psychology (Counseling) and am passionate about helping others. A retired Navy Senior Chief veteran, I have had various life experiences that have created my unique style of coaching. I remain curious about the human experience and am beyond grateful for the life I share with my fabulous dog, Paco. You can learn more about me and my work at KarenSolt.com, https://www.youtube.com/c/KarenSolt, or you can reach me at Karen@KarenSolt.com.

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