I love talking about Self-Acceptance and believe it’s what we’re all seeking. The key to self-acceptance is authenticity…accepting, showing up and being exactly who you are. But how many times have you heard someone say, “I’m trying to find myself” or “I don’t know who I am”? Why is everyone seeking the person that is with them 24/7? Seems weird, right? If you’re seeking your truth, here’s the good news: You’re in there and you’re waiting to emerge and authentically express yourself, even if it scares a part of you.
So, I’ve put together a step-by-step process that can help you remember who you really are. The first four steps are in this blog and I’ll be back next week with the next part. I’ve decided to give you a little at a time to help you gain some self-awareness and find the hidden YOU that is just waiting for the seeker YOU to show up. After all, you are the only one who one that can do it…so let’s get started.
Step 1: Connect with your child-self. Go back to the beginning, back to your childhood, back to the time when you embodied self-acceptance. You were exactly who you were as a child…innocent, playing, crying, giggling, authentically being yourself. Find some pictures of yourself as a child or draw a picture of how you remember yourself. Try and emotionally connect with him or her. Who was that child? What did you like to do? What did you hate to do? What was quirky and unique about you?
Step 2: Try to recall your first experience of a “perceived” childhood rejection. If you felt rejection, it had an effect on you. This could be a sibling or a friend that tells you to not act like yourself because you embarrass them; you might have tried to get your parent’s attention and were ignored; it might have been an young romance with a breakup and isolation from other friends; or it could be a childhood friend who finds another friend to play with and “abandons” you.
Step 3: Connect with the feelings and emotions you experienced over that perceived rejection. Were you confused, sad, hurt, embarrassed? Close your eyes and connect with that child…feel the emotions that you felt and that you’ve tried to avoid. Allow your adult-self to feel them. You can even take it one step further and imagine a young child sitting in front of you with that story of rejection. How would you imagine he or she “feels?” See if you can connect with them.
Step 4: What did you do to hide and how did you lose yourself? Your reaction to the rejection created coping and avoidance behaviors that started your journey into inauthenticity. You essentially started to reject authentic-you with the story, “If I am who I am, they won’t like me.” As a result, you went into hiding. What did you do to cope? Did you become who you thought others needed you to be to fit in? Did you escape into disassociation, addiction, become a perfectionist, a people pleaser, a jokester? Get real with yourself here. What did you and do you do to reject yourself and try to gain acceptance from others?
Okay, that’s the first four steps. If you’re looking for authenticity, this is the starting point. To find yourself, you have to know where you lost yourself. Do some journaling, some digging deep, and ask yourself the questions I’ve outlined. Trust your answers. They’re coming from a place within you that knows you and is just waiting to speak and be heard. I’ll be back next week with Part II.
Thanks for being you…Peace friend ✌😊
p.s. Check out my video on this topic: Authenticity – Finding & Reclaiming Yourself (Part I)